Hilarious TripAdvisor Complaints & Reviews

12 March 2018

We can’t decide which is funnier: reviews that have intentionally been written with a sense of humour because the author is witty, or those that are written in complete seriousness (see “Couples stay away!”). You’ll have to read on and decide for yourself, but all of the following reviews deserve a giggle or two at the very least!

Beach is too sandy. But clear water.

This particular review was of Tumon Beach of the Mariana Islands and came from user tomgreene. He went on to write “It's a great beach, just too sandy. Very nice for swimming. Water was so clean and crystal clear. Overall nice experience on Tumon Beach. Recommend travelers to visit anyways.” Thanks for the heads up, tomgreene, we'll watch out for the sand!

If buildings could speak, this one would be screaming "Run Away".

TripAdvisor user Jim M had this to say about Belgrove Hotel in London. Jim M proceeds to elaborate in a nearly-three hundred word complaint that ends off with “Don’t ever stay here—it is just awful.” and a trademark TripAdvisor Room Tip which reads “[choose a room] that isn’t in this hotel”. Needless to say “Jim” was unimpressed, and his complaint highlighted bed sheets that “looked like they had enjoyed a long career in a particularly messy and degrading part of the adult film industry.”, bits of the building falling off and a bathroom where “One would need to be a most practiced contortionist to use the sink or the shower.”

Couples stay away!

Also hailing from London, this time it is user Dan M who has some wise (and hilarious) words for any couples wishing to stay at an otherwise wonderful hotel. He writes that the hotel was clean, the staff were polite, and the rooms were of a high standard, but when it comes to couples looking for a holiday filled with romantic meals and evening entertainment, what they’ll receive is dinners that feel like “eating in a school canteen” and entertainment that is “unentertaining”. Dan M goes on to give an example of the canteen-style food, which was pretty much “Brussels sprouts and tomato soup for breakfast”. You certainly can’t blame the guy for his disappointment (Brussels sprouts for breakfast, really?).

Disappointed by the lack of zebras.

This particular review seems to be a little tongue-in-cheek, but that doesn’t mean it’s not worth chuckling at! The user complains that they were told to “check out the zebras crossing Abbey Road whilst in London” but that they didn’t see any. Their recommendation was to visit London Zoo at Regent’s Park instead (sound advice, if you ask us).

The owner kept trying to sell me the hotel.
That should tell you everything you need to know! This review in particular drew comparisons to a Turkish version of the famous Fawlty Towers TV show of the 70s, and user jaystant21 couldn’t wrap his head around the fact that the hotel owner not only kept trying to sell the hotel to him, but also kept on asking if he “knew anyone in England who would buy it”. If the owner doesn’t want to keep the hotel, you can be sure that guests likely won’t have a good time staying there. jaystant21 goes on to write that the towels were “like sandpaper” and staff emerge to harass you about your bar bill the minute you surface. Yikes!

While TripAdvisor isn’t always the most reliable source of reviews (some people just love to complain), you can count on a good chuckle if you decide to scroll back through reviews. Avoid your own hilarious complaints and contact one of our Travel Experts today to organise a dream holiday void of owners trying to sell you the hotel, or tomato soup and Brussels sprouts for breakfast!